Baristas Post the Drink Orders That Make Them Want to Quit Their Jobs
Everyone's got their favorite drink that they love to make juuuust perfectly, but some beverages should never be made.
Let's just tell it like it is: Starbucks and a lot of other popular coffee places make breakfast milkshakes more than anything else. Folks are so quick to give themselves type-2 diabetes with whatever beverages they're slurping down that include pumps of various artificially-flavored syrups, little bits of what is essentially candy, and more sugar than you should probably consume in an entire week.
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But there are some people who take already sweet drinks from places like Starbucks and decide to concoct their own unholy brand of Barista-breaking beverages. Maybe with the advent of mobile customizations and folks intentionally creating psychotic drink orders so they can post it on social media to see if Baristas would actually make it, it doesn't change the fact that these abominations are actually being created.
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Barista Josue Morales took to Twitter to share a recent Starbucks order that was so unbelievably packed with sugar and fixin's that he joked it "made [him] wanna quit [his] job."
While that may sound a bit dramatic, you should just take a look at the ingredients in this thing and you'll get to understand Josue's frustration.
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I think his ire has less to do with all of the work that it takes to make this beverage and more to do with the fact that he's a member of the same species as someone who would honestly want to drink this. In case you're wondering, it contains:
- 5 whole bananas
- Extra caramel drizzle
- Extra whipped cream
- Extra ice
- Extra cinnamon dolce topping
- 7 pumps of additional caramel sauce
- Extra caramel crunch
- 1 pump of honey blend
- Extra salted brown butter topping
- 5 pumps of frap roasted coffee
- 7 additional frap chips
- Heavy cream
- And the whole thing's double blended
This thing seems more like an unholy Dairy Queen blizzard than an actual drink you'd order from Starbucks.
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And in case you were wondering what Josue's drink costs to make, someone recreated it in the Starbucks mobile ordering application and were greeted with this figure:
I reverse engineered the order to see what it approximately cost Edward to buy it. The order was fulfilled in Indianapolis. pic.twitter.com/R8JY5TEiKR
— Little Twink (@TheColourfulGay) May 3, 2021Article continues below advertisement
It didn't take long for a bunch of other Baristas to share photos of some of the more insane drinks they were forced to make for customers.
Like this swamp water concoction.
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Why not just chug syrup at this point, Mohammed?
Looks like we found the guy who requests these types of drinks.
This is a service Starbucks offers, customized drinks. People like that and pay extra for it. The employees are trained how to make them. It's their job to make custom coffee and tea drinks. Be friendly to everyone. It's not their job to be nice. It's yours. Do your job. Or quit.
— andy hess (@mysmallbrowndog) May 4, 2021Article continues below advertisement
It's not like they're taking photos of the people's faces who are requesting these drinks and putting them online. And it's not like the baristas aren't making them, so they should be allowed comment on how insane they are. If your drink request order is starting to look like a CVS receipt then you should probably re-evaluate what it is you're imbibing.
Like this one that requires two stickers.
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But just because something is basic doesn't mean it isn't gag-inducing.
Mango Dragonfruit Lemonade with cinnamon and hazelnut syrup.
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SHOTS AND SYRUP BABY.
In their defense, a Twitter user did point out that they were probably using this as a "base" to make their own beverages at home.
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This is someone bringing it home to make MANY drinks with their own milk/cream.
— mobleaudio (@mobleaudio) May 3, 2021Some people thought that these nightmare drinks would only be made by a mobile user. But they were wrong.
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My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.
Why so many different variations of sugar and then add Splenda?
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How do you get Match to dissolve without stirring or shaking it?
This was back in 2013, but it stuck with me bc of how ridiculous the ask was.
1/2 soy, 1/2 2%
6 heaping scoops of matcha, but not shaken or stirred
No ice
I did my best to swirl it, handed it to her, and she was upset that the matcha wasn’t dissolved. 😐
had to make it twice pic.twitter.com/pLB1mWWKls
At least this order is a pretty looking one.
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One wasp cup please.
Don't you dare drink this little guy either.
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The weirdness doesn't just apply to drink orders.
Sunday morning is supposed to be easy.
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This tweet runs the gamut of specific Starbucks order weirdness.
Slap a sticker on that banana.
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Is this all they're consuming for the day? A coffee that costs more than $32??
The long shot gets me.
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These are wild.
some recents 😔 for that one order i had to pull FIFTEEN SHOTS and then they had the audacity to have me remake them AND give us shit for having him wear a mask pic.twitter.com/KwVbvfZ6ON
— andrea 🌈 (@Andreamp01) May 4, 2021A single banana is 105 calories.
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Why mix all of the syrups???
This is a straight up milkshake.
This drink sounds delish and I wanna try it… but now I feel bad when I order this (see picture) once in a blue moon. pic.twitter.com/fcAeGsUvJ8
— Kairi (TriforceMoogle) 🌸 (@YukiKairi) May 3, 2021Article continues below advertisement
Dunkin' Donuts workers get weird requests too.
Caramel drizzle sandwich.
The worst is that this person didn't even come to pick up the order.
Contributing to this thread of terror. A meme mobile order we received at my store. No doubt the asshole "Karen" was peeping from outside to have a giggle as I was constructing this abomination. They didn't even come to pick it up 🙃 pic.twitter.com/rZ4Ogyd56Z
— linhnguyens (@linhtherealist) May 4, 2021ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pbXSramam6Ses7p6wqikaKhfl66ztdKtmKxlk6euu8WMnKafnpWaeqS7zZymnKyZpLu0